Randy Hentz

Finds the closest mobile-order Starbucks (or Dunkin', when you ask) to your airport gate and places your usual order once you confirm and arrive.

Checks local heating oil prices every week, logs them with a trend chart, and tells you whether to buy now or wait.

Sends one fresh, kid-safe dad joke every day at the time you pick, never repeats one, and never posts after your cutoff time.